Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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