weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
