Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Alive.
So much puke
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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