Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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