whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize