Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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