Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I can text with my tongue
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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