escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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