youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
