Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
