How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
