If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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