he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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