She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
