This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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