Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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