Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
