I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
