that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
