She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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