Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize