people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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