Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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