Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
