That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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