If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
