so that wasnt chicken after all
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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