Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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