hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
