Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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