her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
