I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize