I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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