I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
