dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
