i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
