i jhust puked up my retainher.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
