Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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