I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
