Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
