white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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