Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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