this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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