we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
