fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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