woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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