I feel like abortions should bother me more
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
