He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You can't motorboat a personality
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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