Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
