Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize