you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
