let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
