Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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