yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
only if we run a train.
done.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
