I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
